(in no small measure because I'm not sure how to spell "whiny"), but this is an interesting phenom I'm noting right now.
So, I'm sick, and people want to help and do things. But often, given my fatigue level or general not-feeling-good, I don't wanna. But I find myself doing things, anyway, in order to allow others to feel better.
Isn't that odd? I am not bothered by it; in fact, I like it (except when I'm really not feeling good). I like being able to help people feel better.
But the oddness of it having sort of become my responsibility to help others feel better about my having a terminal diagnosis is just, well, a little striking to me.
But people have been spectacularly great to me. So if I get a chance to give back a little, I'm grateful for that chance.
But it's become this sort of symbiosis.
Life is weird. But fun.
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